This month’s Esquire features a hot-as-hell photo spread of 34-year-old Mad Men star Christina Hendricks, alpha secretary with an overlooked knack for TV ad placement, but the accompanying interview (“Christina Hendricks Isn’t All That Fussy”) is devoted almost entirely to a slightly gross self-congratulatory parsing of her curves, appetite, and size. The piece oozes with delight over the caloric bombs she swallows on the regular (cheese poppers, chocolate-covered bacon, carbonaras, all types of pork), before venturing to more duh-worthy territory: Hendricks is “not this little waify nothing” and she “seems to embrace it.” But no worries, Esquirestill finds her sexy! The interview fetishizes the deep-fried bits she eats and her girdle-induced upper thigh bruises (yes, she talks about how the Mad Men costumes uncomfortably pierce her flesh) as only a magazine whose pages are usually filled exclusively with size 2 women can.

It’s not that I don’t consider Hendricks really, reaaaaally ridiculously good-looking but I just don’t think that I deserve a pat on the back for admiring her beauty, nor do I get all jizzy over a play by play of her terribly naughty restaurant order, because I’ve eaten more than a few carbonaras in my lifetime and, as far as I can tell, still inspire the occasional erection. Next question, please. (For inspiration: Jack Nicholson’s interview with Mad Men actress January Jones in last month’s Interviewmagazine. On her (not fake!) name: “It’s from a book called Once is Not Enough by Jacqueline Susann. Bad book.”)

A couple weeks ago a New York magazine piece about Hendricks, titled “Dangerous Curves,” insulto-complimented her “retro-bodacious body” as “oddly empowering to women,” as if it’s such an exception that someone with regular-person heft, er, ahem, curves, as the parlance goes, is sexy. Page Six anointed her the voluptuous being who is “changing Hollywood’s skewed views of females.” Never mind that a handful of shows debuting this season—Dance Your Ass Off and More to Love to name two—game on fat women as a form of voyeuristic alien entertainment (Fat people moving! Fat people trying to love! SO CRAZY.) Which is just to say: Maybe we should stop feeling so proud of ourselves that we love Christina Hendricks’ paunch. And stop praising her as a token of our open-mindedness when it comes to body talk. Let’s simply accept that a hot woman is a hot woman, and pray Matt Weiner gets Joanie out of her terrible marriage this season.